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1/25/2006

FOR THE LOVE OF CHUCK

We all worship something I guess. Here's a sample of one man's praise of Chuck:

  • Forget Wikipedia, if Chuck Norris wants you know something, he will tell you.
  • Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he has never cried. Ever.
  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  • Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
  • Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
  • In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
  • There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
  • The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.
  • There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
  • When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
  • A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
  • Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
  • Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
  • In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  • Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.


    Worship further - and buy a t-shirt - here. (Warning: As is the case with most religions, parts of this one are offensive to some and may contain references and lingo understood and meaningful only to it's followers. Read at your own risk.)


    HT: Jordan Cooper
  • 9 Comments:

    Blogger Mustard Packet Pelter said...

    Chuck Norris lol okay. Shaun are you trying to pick on me? You had no idea I was a fan did ya? lol

    I love the shirt..."Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people." Too funny.

    1/25/2006  
    Blogger Kathryn said...

    i laughed so hard when i read this, i was working my abs!!!*Chuck would be proud!*

    love the book one!!! and the 'chin' one!!!

    Thanx for that hilarious addition to my day!!! LOL!!!

    1/25/2006  
    Anonymous Ryan G. said...

    I haven't laughed that hard in a few weeks!

    1/25/2006  
    Blogger Kathryn said...

    i clicked the link and read several pages. . i laughed so hard that i was sweating. I had to stop reading cuz i needed a rest!!!

    When my husband came home from work, he read through them while i cooked supper!! We died laughing the whole while. . and at supper we kept recalling them and we laughed and slapped the table and turned red and everything else you could imagine! We had to be really careful when drinking our beverages!! THANK YOU for that amazingly funny, funny stuff!!!

    phew! I dare not read any more today. . i still have to work out and i think i'll be too tired!!

    I'm even finding that i can go along doing whatever. . then i'll think of a Chuck Norris zinger and start laughing all over again.

    1/25/2006  
    Blogger ks said...

    ahhh. now that is good humor.

    1/25/2006  
    Anonymous Steve Shore said...

    Man... you have caused some non-productivity in our office today. I saw the web page and found it so funny that I had to share it with everyone. This then resulted in us all reading and laughing. Much fun...

    1/26/2006  
    Anonymous Andrew said...

    well done, sir. That's one of the funniest things I've seen in quite a while.

    1/27/2006  
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    5/12/2007  
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    11/30/2007  

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