DEAR APPLE COMPUTER, INC. PART 2

Dear Apple Computer, Inc.,

I'm sorry.

See, I'm trying to break the strangle hold caffeine, in the form of Dr.Pepper, has on my life. I read once that it's addictive powers are equal to that of heroine - or maybe that was price or something. Anyway, my judgment is twitching and glitching from some sort of withdrawal syndrome I'm sure will pass. I'm not making excuses as much as I am explaining the science, the possible biological misfire, behind my last bit of correspondence to you.

You can understand how a computer, especially a laptop perched and purring upon one's lap for so many years day after day, can begin to feel like, well, a friend. Can't you? So maybe I got a little emotional, the lines between reality and Dr.Pepper deprivation induced fantasy got a little blurred. I got caught up in the loss of a loved one I now am ready to admit is just a laptop - but a dang good laptop vital to my work and well-being.

Forgive me. No hard feelings alright?

After I wrote you I felt bad. I felt like I had wounded deity in some way. You're the guys who slayed the gray box of my childhood with the technicolor iMac of my college days and loosed the chains on my music with the liberating iPod. You've done more for artsy fartsy folks like me than Bill Gates ever could. How could I have let my little momentary disappointments come between us like that? Again, I'm sorry.

I was so sorry that I went ahead and called you up again asking for a brown box. It arrived, I put my COMPUTER (not friend) inside for a quick ride to Apple Heaven where your geniuses replaced just about everything in it, buffed the scratches from it's screen just for the love of it and whooshed it right back to me in 48 hours.

It arrived today, sparkly and faster than ever.

Sure I hate that it broke so many times, in the same way, over and over and over again. That sucks. But at least I'm not stuck with a beige, ugly, always-crashing, slow, symbol of corporate conformity, style-lacking, Microsoft-dependent, innovationless, virus-laden, spyware-riddled, sorry excuse for a computer on my lap tonight. That would suck different. It would suck in a way I could bear about as much as losing a loved one without the aid of caffeine to numb my pain.

So thanks Apple for sending my iBook back in working order again. And please accept my sincerest apologies for ever doubting your love for me or my little...laptop.

Your repentant friend, customer, fan and regional Mac Mormon,
Shaun Groves



P.S. If you happen to stumble onto a replacement for my elderly iBook just lying around Steve's pad someday I wouldn't refuse it of course. That address again is:

PO Box 680055
Franklin, TN 37068

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