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11/12/2006

HOME ALONE

Becky has taken the kids to see her grandparents in Texas. When she first told me about this trip of theirs I confess I got more excited about it than she probably wanted me to be. I couldn't wait to be truly alone for the first time in years. No toys to step on. No whining. No questions. Just me and silence.

I thought I'd rent some movies Becky would never want to see and eat stuff we never buy, and do things I tell the kids not to do: Leave my wet towel on the floor, leave my clothes wherever I take them off, eat all the Little Debbies I want. I'd be the bachelor I once was, I thought.

But I haven't done any of those things. No fast food. No Little Debbies. No movies. No towels on the floor. No fun.

What's happened to me? I used to be good at this alone thing.

My first child was born just as I signed my record deal. The combination of fatherhood and working as a recording artist forced me to be perpetually engaged with other people...which I almost always like. There is no such thing as alone when you travel around making music, selling yourself to radio stations and book stores and audiences. And when I'm home? Well, only in the bathroom can a father of three be truly alone in his own house. Six years of constant company is a great thing for the most part. It's just that it may have left me incapable of being only with me for more than a few minutes.

The silence is deafening. The freedom is paralyzing. Not sad. Not scary. Foreign. I don't know how to do this anymore.

I miss my wife. I miss my kids. I miss noise.

13 Comments:

Blogger Nancy Tyler said...

Clearly you're not managing your Little Debbies intake properly. Nobody is lonely after a box of Zebra Cakes.

Or are Swiss Cake Rolls your chosen drug?

nt

11/13/2006  
Blogger Cristy said...

I was sort of home alone last week, as Ken went to New Orleans with a group from our church. I, too, was excited at first, but soon realized how long a week is without him. I did spend some quality time with a few friends last week, but I am so glad he's home!

11/13/2006  
Blogger Shaun Groves said...

How'd you know? Yea, Swiss Cake Rolls. Should I change confections? Is that my problem, Nancy?

11/13/2006  
Blogger Dave Haupert said...

And when I'm home? Well, only in the bathroom can a father of three be truly alone in his own house.

Wish I could say that was a safe place for me (with 4 kids)! Even if I lock the door, my youngest is usually trying to pound his way in and take the door down with him.

11/13/2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Go to the mall and go people watching that's always fun. There's plenty of noise at the mall.

11/13/2006  
Blogger GrovesFan said...

I must find a new hiding place for the swiss cake rolls. My kids keep finding them! I know, I'll put them in with the shredded wheat; they'd never touch that!

Beth

11/13/2006  
Blogger Cristy said...

I hide the swiss cake rolls, too, along with the nutty bars, banana twins, spinwheels and honey buns! In the laundry room cabinet...the kids will NEVER find them there! They magically appear just a few at a time every couple of weeks in the kitchen cabinet.

11/13/2006  
Blogger Nancy Tyler said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11/13/2006  
Blogger Nancy Tyler said...

Well, Swiss Cake Rolls can work, but you have to eat them the right way--eat the chocolate coating off first, then bite off each end, then unroll the cake/cream part.

Zebra Cakes require the removal of their waxy, pseudo white chocolate icing sides first, then the top coating of icing, then the bottom. Then you eat as much of the cake layers off as you can while still leaving the creamy center intact, which is the final treat.

Dang, I'd head down to CVS for some right now if I didn't already have a can of chocolate hazelnut pirouettes right here next to me.

LOL

n

11/13/2006  
Blogger Mark said...

Over the years of having various roommates, I've gotten very good at being alone even when someone is home. Of course, having your own room helps.

Then you get a roommate who wants to talk all the time, and you can't get anything done!

Seriously, I do understand. I've hit patches where you want some people around. It's nice to know there are people in your life you absolutely have to have around you.

11/13/2006  
Blogger Shaun Groves said...

Nancy, that sounds a little too much like work to be enjoyable. I like snacks I can fit entirely in my mouth in one bite - no removing of layers or thought required. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, for instance. One bite goodness. Man, I'm hungry.

11/13/2006  
Blogger Nancy Tyler said...

Gah! How can you possibly enjoy a Reese's in one bite? Do you at least slow down long enough to remove the little paper off of them? They taste MUCH better if you eat around the edges and then save the middle for last.

And never eat them cold. They ideally should be just a bit above room temperature.

Now M&Ms...they taste best microwaved.


n

11/13/2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Poptarts micrwaved specifically the cookies and cream kind ohhh yummy.

11/13/2006  

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