WORDS AND MUSIC

After the gig a guy in his early twenties walks up to me and introduces himself. "I'm Shaun," I say. "I know," he says and laughs as if me introducing myself is silly. Then he tells me an amazing story of how his life "turned around" and how God "changed" him and how he's now studying to be a pastor. And the ending of his tale is that I'm somehow to credit for this. Well, a song of mine.

He said he heard that song and it made him feel and think differently than he had and God "spoke" to him through it.

And then those awkward compliments/labels got thrown on top of me again: Anointed. Blessed. God speaks through you like no one else. Etc.

Awkward.

I don't know what to do in moments like this. I used to cut myself down, pridefully bring up some negative aspect of myself or performance. "I only know five chords" or "Man, I'm just as messed up as you are" only made scenes like this one more uncomfortable. So now I just say, "Thank you."

The fear though is that just saying thanks and not reminding "fans" and myself frequently that I'm no better, wiser, or closer to God than they are might allow my ego to get the best of me one day. Sooner than later I could be that guy wearing sunglasses inside and demanding sun dried tomatoes and brown M&Ms in his rider.

So it was good to read the words of Philip Yancey this morning and feel like I'm in good company and not out of my mind to worry about getting swallowed by my own pride. He writes...

"I think, frankly, every writer faces the temptation of pride. There’s an inherent assumption that what I’ve got to say is worth your time—read my book! [Laughter] Writing is an odd field because there is no more paranoia-producing, lonely occupation than sitting there with a blank computer screen wondering if you can come up with something that can capture people’s attention. So, that’s a very humbling aspect. But then, if the book works and you go out to a book signing or to speak somewhere, then there are all these people saying, “Oh, you’re so wonderful. You changed my life. You have all these answers.” Fortunately, 80 percent of my life is sitting in the basement struggling and the other part just seems like this unreal world."

The next incarnation of this website is an attempt on my part to let you see more of the 80% of my life spent struggling to write music, to market it, to understand where it comes from and why it sometimes doesn't come at all. The new shaungroves.com will have two blogs - apart from SHLOG - simply called "MUSIC" and "WORDS" where I'll post about the creative process as it happens - maybe once a week. I'll try to explain what happens in the basement - the easy and not-so-easy path to creating something that will later miraculously benefit other people.

The hope, I think, is that you'll be less likely to call me things I'm not and more likely to go off and create something of your own. You'll be grateful when something I write means something to you but you won't put me on a pedestal for having penned it. You'll know I stumbled my way through that chorus. I didn't sit down by a burning bush and take dictation. And then maybe if you see me after a show we can talk like two mere humans, equals trying to hear and follow God - and the awkward will stop.